I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
