Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
