dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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