Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
