these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
