She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
