Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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