I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
