ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
