He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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