Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
