dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
