Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
