I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
