Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
where am i from again
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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