Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
