The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
