Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
