drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
