rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
