He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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