just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
