At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize