i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Everything about him screamed your future.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
