I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I came so hard my ears popped.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize