My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
