Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
