So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
