All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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