I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
