Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize