I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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