your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
