so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
