You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I've blown a few things in my day
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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