you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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