At least make sure they are 18
Why
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
