I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
