At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She bit a glass in half.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
