wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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