and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
please don't ironically join a cult
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