If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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