you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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