i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize