All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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