I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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