it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
