Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
