I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
