what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
