let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize