just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
