You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
