The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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