all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
