Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
