I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
