Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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