I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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