You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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