Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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