I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
