I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Randomize
