I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize