ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
