so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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