How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
