Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
