Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
