Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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