I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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