So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
