Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
