i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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