So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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